Portraits of My Family

Portraits by my uncle, Jim Evans, that have been passed down to me (Olympus AF-1, Fujifilm 200)

I have four framed family portraits hanging in my bedroom. My uncle Jim was a photojournalist and ski instructor, and was a fantastic family documentarian. His photo of my grandparents is iconic, where my grandmother is jumping in the air to try to match the height of my very tall grandfather. In his classic self-portrait, he's holding the remote camera trigger as the cord runs out of the frame (not to even mention the beard and glasses). In my favorite photo of my mother, she's waving from the crowd of her college graduation. My aunt Lorilee and uncle John are photographed visiting my grandparents in Colorado, looking genuinely happy.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about these photographs. Most of my thoughts have been a general sense of failure, that I will never be as cool as this guy. He photographed the essence of my closest loved ones, and did so with a classic 80's style that I will never be able to recreate. I originally hung them on my wall not with a sense of aspiration to do the same, but as a way to steal a little bit of his clout by association.

David and Beth look at an old map of Seattle and swap stories (Fufifilm X-Pro3, 16mm f/1.4)

My family gathered for Thanksgiving this year like we always do. I always try my best to contribute, although usually my efforts pale in comparison to my father who makes an entire feast all by himself. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes. My mom contributes by cleaning the entire house and getting the dining room ready with our family heirloom dinnerware set, and she always makes the gravy. 

Last year, I brought my sourdough starter and spent the day before preparing the dough, and woke up early to bake my loaves so the oven would be free for the turkey. The bread was a hit. This year, I wanted to contribute something immaterial: taking portraits of my family. But don't worry–I also brought two loaves of homemade sourdough.

Dottie (Fufifilm X-Pro3, 16mm f/1.4)

I guess I had a change of heart about my uncle. Yes, his photos are unbelievably cool, but maybe I can take my own cool photos of these people! I brought all my photography gear up and took over the TV-room with a backdrop and light stands, and got everyone to reluctantly agree to sit for a portrait.

Frank sits for a portrait (Fujfilm X-T2, 56mm f/1.2)

After dinner, I led everyone into my temporary "studio". First up was my dad, Frank. This photo is the first frame I took, and he looked the most comfortable the moment right after he sat down. Just like him, the shoot was quiet and practical.

I'm really thankful Frank was a stay-at-home dad when I was growing up. I admire his calm demeanor and hope to one day be as chill as him. He spends a lot of time in his chair reading and does the local newspaper's crossword puzzle every day. My mom and I looked at the photo of him and smiled as we both said "sweet".

Dottie sits for a portait (Fujfilm X-T2, 56mm f/1.2)

Next up was my mom's mom, Dottie (although us kids call her "Bobbie"). One of the reasons I got into portrait photography is to improve my ability to connect with people. I have a lot of anxiety around 1-on-1 conversation, and portraits offer the challenge and opportunity to talk to someone until they feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable. My grandmother is basically a professional at this empathetic form of interaction and always has a question ready to ask. I think a lot about how my grandmother treats people. I am so grateful that my entire life has had this respectful and curious person asking me questions and thoughtfully listening to my answers.

During our session, she asked me to play the violin for her. One of my most famous moments within the family is playing the violin in church when I was 10 years old, performing "Ashoken Farewell" by Jay Ungar. I started violin lessons when I was 5 years old and would frequently go to her house to practice, as she provided supervision and external accountability. She asked me to play the same song for her tonight, following up with "When was the last time you played the violin?". Although it's been a while since I played, it certainly hasn't been a while since I've used the same skills to create something. I played the violin for her, but I'll always be looking for new ways to be creative and recieve fulfillment.

David sits for a portrait (Fujfilm X-T2, 56mm f/1.2)

David is a new addition to Thanksgiving. Dottie met him at her assisted living facility in Mount Vernon, and they seem to enjoy their time together. My partner and I visited last month and sat with the two of them for lunch on an extremely wholesome double date. He is sharp and full of stories on almost every topic you could imagine. He's worked as a photographer and has captured eagles and bears, and used to have an f/1.1 medium format lens. Today I learned he's worked as a communications engineer and has explored the miles of tunnels under University of Washington with a mysterious master-key.

During his shoot, we talked about the ins-and-outs of photographing weddings and swapped stories of long days and improvised solutions from both of our experiences. He seemed to approve of my setup, but suggested some improvements to bring a little more specificity to my portrait lighting.

Evan sits for a portrait (Fujfilm X-T2, 56mm f/1.2)

My brother Evan was next. I've spent a lot of my time the last few years attempting to reach a similar level of outdoor adventuring as him. I've gone on some pretty extreme climbing trips around the country and mountain biked down loose shoots where you just have to hang onto your bike and pray, meaning there's no way to stop without a gnarly crash. I even bought backcountry skis and took avalanche training, and went ski-touring while sleeping and traveling around in my van.

I thought these adventures were core to my identity, and any fulfillment going forward in life would have to include some sort of extreme sport. But while I'll never forget these experiences and plan to keep enjoying myself outside, I've spent the last 2-3 months without leaving Seattle and spend all my free time taking photos in my room. And I've found myself more fulfilled than ever. I'm glad he's doing all that cool stuff, though.

Beth sits for a portrait (Fujfilm X-T2, 56mm f/1.2)

I was the most nervous about taking photos of my mom. She doesn't seem to like getting her picture taken, and I have lots of empathy for that. I don't really like it either, and I instantly notice my flaws and features I'm uncomfortable with when I see photos of myself. When I'm on a Zoom call, much of my attention is focused on my own video to make sure I look okay.

We started taking some test shots to figure out the lighting, taking off the pressure posing, and things were going surprisingly well. She didn't want to instantly escape. She started settling into the poses a little more, and when I showed her the frames I had taken, she liked them! It was a huge success that she felt comfortable and a massive bonus she was happy with the photos.

Frank, Matthew, Evan, Beth, David & Dottie (Fujfilm X-T2, 16-55mm f/2.8)

Lastly, I forced everyone to take a big group photo together. It's not perfect, but it serves a purpose and will in all likelihood be the family holiday card next year.

It feels strange as the youngest person to be taking the family photos. But my cool uncle was doing this back in the day, and I'm really glad I've started doing the same. Maybe someday a future nephew will have my portraits hanging in his room.

Matt Repplier is a 25 year old software engineer who loves photography, reflection and friends. This blog serves as his creative outlet and space to consider his experiences.